Not Everyone Is Going to Be Happy for You—and That's Okay

Something I’ve been realizing lately is that sometimes the people you expect to support you the most are the ones who say the least.

And I’m not going to lie, that can hurt a little.

You finally get the courage to do something you’ve been thinking about forever. Maybe you start something new, share something personal, or put something out there that you’re really proud of. And of course, you think the people who know you are going to be excited for you.

Then...nothing.

And if you’re anything like me, your mind starts going.

Did they see it? Do they think it’s stupid? Why haven’t they said anything? Maybe they don’t like it. Maybe they’re wondering what I’m doing.

I’ve caught myself doing this more times than I’d like to admit. And the funny thing is, I can come up with an entire story in my head without actually knowing what the other person is thinking.

Maybe they’re not interested. Maybe they don’t understand what I’m doing. Maybe they’re busy with their own life. Maybe seeing someone else try something new brings up something in them. And sure, sometimes jealousy might be part of it.

But here’s what I’m starting to realize: I don’t need to figure it out.

And believe me, that’s a big one for me.

I’ve spent a lot of my life worrying about what people think. Putting myself out there has never come naturally to me. Even when I’m excited about something, there’s still that little voice in the back of my head saying, What are people going to think?

Who does she think she is?

Why is she doing this?

What if nobody cares?

Maybe you’ve had that little voice too.

The problem is, if you listen to it long enough, you can talk yourself out of doing things you actually want to do.

And I’m getting to a point in my life where I don’t want to do that anymore.

I’d rather try something that means something to me and have somebody think it’s silly than look back years from now and realize I didn’t do it because I was worried about what they might say.

Because really, how many things do we miss out on because we’re waiting for other people to approve?

I’m also learning that support can come from the most unexpected places.

Sometimes someone you barely know will say exactly what you needed to hear. A stranger might encourage you more than someone you’ve known for years. Someone might read everything you write and never like it, comment on it, or tell you they’re reading it.

You just never know who you’re reaching.

That’s something I have to remind myself of, especially when it comes to sharing things online. It’s so easy to look at likes, comments, shares, and numbers and let those things decide whether what you’re doing matters.

But they really don’t tell the whole story.

And neither does silence.

Just because someone isn’t cheering loudly doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing.

Not everyone is going to understand what you’re doing. Not everyone is going to be excited about it. And yes, there may even be people who would rather see you stay exactly where you’ve always been.

But you can’t build your life around making everyone else comfortable.

So if you’ve been wanting to do something, I hope you do it.

Write the book. Start the business. Take the class. Change careers. Share your story. Create something. Try something completely different. Do that thing you keep talking yourself out of because you’re worried somebody might judge you.

And if nobody claps at first?

Keep going.

If someone doesn’t understand?

Keep going.

If the people you thought would support you don’t?

Keep going.

You might be surprised by who eventually shows up for you. But more importantly, you might surprise yourself.

Because maybe the support you’ve been waiting for doesn’t have to come from everybody else first.

Maybe sometimes you have to be the person who believes in yourself enough to say, I’m going to try anyway.

So if we were sitting together having coffee and talking about this, I’d probably ask you the same thing I’ve been asking myself:

How much of your life have you spent worrying about what other people might think?

And what would you do differently if you stopped?

I’m still working on this one myself.

But I’m learning that sometimes you have to stop looking around to see who’s clapping and just keep going.

Even when it’s quiet.

Ana